Closed mouths don’t get fed. 🤐
I've been tucked in bed for a couple of hours and still been eluded by sleep. for some unusual reason all i can think about is rejection. playing back tapes in my mind i could have sworn i had erased out of embarrassment but the more i think of them, the less embarrassed i feel and somehow i feel it has played a huge role in building resilience, character and confidence.
My nickname should have been Mr. Comfort Zone because that is an apt description of my previous disposition. i would do the most mental gymnastics just thinking of possible outcomes as opposed to taking actual action and facing the consequences. A day-dreamer at its finest.
These tapes have made me realize and not necessary resent how much i had lost and played myself in the areas of relationships, businesses and potentially decisions that can change life trajectories. Regrets? sometimes but i have chosen not to dwell on that as my takeout in this throwback restaurant.
I'm brought back to times where i was 100% aware of my thoughts, feelings and emotions but never just voiced to the parties involved just because of the fear of rejection. at some point in my life, I had never had a “NO” as an answer lets say in the context of relationships and friendships. i was so safe in my zone and sure most times that whatever i was getting into was a “YES” so i never imagined i would have to deal with an alternate answer and that honestly played to my disadvantage. i literally watched myself let amazing friendships, relationships and opportunities pass me by just because i didn't know what to do with a potential “NO” or how to remain neutral and carry on after being rejected. Rejection makes us feel pretty horrid about ourselves and can easily send us spiraling down a self-critical rabbit hole.
Closed mouths don't get fed and a rejection is definitely not the end of the world. Sure it'd hurt but it wont kill you. Keep it pushing and with enough time, it becomes an experience you can learn from and apply to different facets of life.
I wouldn't exactly call myself immune to rejection now but i can say i handle it a lot better just based off the knowledge of how much potential i had slept on in the past as a result of my uncertainty and fear of the unknown. Whatever or whoever it may be, getting rejected simply means “NO” and nothing more! Trust me when i tell you that its a better feeling than uncertainty and assumptions. there's nothing more painful than “Shoulda- woulda- coulda” situations or realizing certain things and situations are so far gone and irredeemable because of your lack of action. I mean we all have an ego weather we like to admit it or not but are we really going to let that dictate our moves?
Assumption is the lowest form of communication
Radical acceptance helps a lot. accept your feelings and emotions and be mindful about them, do not take it personal, overthink or be too critical about it because that's a slippery slope: Grease or oil, your pick. This has helped me in areas of grief and not just rejection. Dont fight it, don't force it and don't let it define you. feel how you feel and keep it P. There are billions of opportunities, people and situations at your disposal and with the right intent and courage its all within your reach is how i feel lately.
Do You! : Take a step back, be kind to yourself and do some inner work, self care practices, yoga, exercise, meditation, music… anything that makes you feel good (old and new habits)to keep your mind occupied in a productive way makes the clock tick a lot faster and detachment is just around the corner. This way, you think more clearly discover new things to channel your time and focus towards as opposed to brooding and thinking emotionally. Motivate yourself and affirm great things into your life. The power of our words is actually so beautiful if only we knew!
“The healthier your lifestyle, the more resources you have then to deal with difficult situations,” — Becker-Phelps.
Dont let it stop you! It is an inevitable part of life and the sooner we get a grasp of it, the sooner we make giant strides moving forward.
You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches - Dita Von Teese
Be vocal about what it is you want, go for it with no second guessing. if its meant to be then it definitely will be.
The month is practically over and i hope we all had an awesome start to 2022, this is me urging us all to take charge, go for it and keep it pushing regardless the outcome; desired or not. the world keeps turning and opportunities don't fall out of thin air.
All my love 🖤
Midè 🪶
